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An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school. "Tell me," inquired the interviewer, "where do you expect to be ten years from now?" "Well, let's see," replied the student. "It's Wednesday afternoon. I guess I'll be on the golf course by now."

Teenage Driver: But, officer, I'm a college man. Policeman: Sorry, but ignorance is no excuse.
Why do University of Arkansas graduates tape their diplomas to the windshields of their cars? So they can park in handicapped spaces.
How do you know a Brigham Young student's been mowing the lawn? The welcome mat is destroyed.
What does the N on the Nebraska football helmet stand for? "Nowledge."
Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night? He was trying to find a cure for insomnia.
Why don't Purdue athletes eat pickles? They can't get their heads in the jar.
What do you get when you cross a Texas Aggie with an ape? A retarded ape.
Professor: Heavens! Someone stole my wallet! Wife: Didn't you feel a hand in your pocket? Professor Yes, but I thought it was mine!
Did you hear about the Louisiana Tech professor who stood in front of a mirror for two hours, wondering where he'd seen himself before?
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