Welcome!

A salesman walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it, lo and behold, a genie appeared. "I will grant you three wishes," announced the genie. "But since Satan still hates me, for every wish you make, your rival gets the wish as well -- only double." The salesman thought about this for a while. "For my first wish, I would like ten million dollars," he announced. Instantly the genie gave him a Swiss bank account number and assured the man that $10,000,000 had been deposited. "But your rival has just received $20,000,000," the genie said. "I've always wanted a Ferrari," the salesman said. Instantly a Ferrari appeared. "But your rival has just received two Ferraris," the genie said. "And what is your last wish?" "Well," said the salesman, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney for transplant."

How do salespeople traditionally greet each other? "Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you."
A salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in a department store. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress. Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack. Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the 'unbreakable' comb for everyone to see and said, "And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside."
Two shoe salespeople were sent to Africa to open up new markets. Three days after arriving, one salesperson called the office and said, "I'm returning on the next flight. Can't sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot." At the same time the other salesperson sent an email to the factory, telling "The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!"
A software manager, a hardware manager, and a marketing manager are driving to a meeting when a tire blows. They get out of the car and look at the problem. The software manager says, "I can't do anything about this - it's a hardware problem." The hardware manager says, "Maybe if we turned the car off and on again, it would fix itself." The marketing manager says, "Hey, 75% of it is working - let's ship it!"
A salesman who was out on his territory had a heart attack in his motel room and died. The motel manager called the salesman's company and related the tragedy to the sales manager. The sales manager received the news in a nonchalant manner and told the motel manager, "Return his samples by freight and search his pants for orders."
How can you tell when a salesperson is lying? His lips are moving.
A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman manages to bull his way into a woman's home in a rural area. "This machine is the best ever" he exclaims, whilst pouring a bag of dirt over the lounge floor. The woman says she's really worried it may not all come off, so the salesman says, "If this machine doesn't remove all the dust completely, I'll lick it off myself." "Do you want ketchup on it?" she says, "we're not connected for electricity yet!"
The out-of-work newlywed took a temporary job as a vacuum cleaner salesman to make ends meet. After 3 days of intensive training, the sales manager told him to go home and practice his pitch on his wife. The next morning, the manager asked the novice how he made out. Well," the man began, "I did what you said, and after I finished, I asked her if she would buy the vacuum cleaner from me. She said 'Yes.' Then I asked her 'why ?' She replied, 'Because I love you'."
A traveling salesman was held up by a bad storm in the Hawaiian Islands. He sent an e-mail to his corporate headquarters advising them that he was stranded for a few days and requested instructions. The reply came back shortly: "Begin vacation as of yesterday."
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |