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School Doctor: Have you ever had trouble with appendicitis? Fred: Only when I tried to spell it.How do you spell wrong? R?o?n?g. That's wrong. That's what you asked for, isn't it?
First witch: Here's a banana if you can spell it. Second witch: I can spell banana. I just don't know when to stop.
The young lad had applied for a job, and was asked his full name. "Aloysius Montmorency Geoghan," he replied. "How do you spell that?" asked the manager. "Er ? sir ? er ? can't you just put it down without spelling it?"
Daughter: I will never learn to spell. Mother: Why? Daughter: The teacher keeps changing the words.
"I gotta 'A' in spelling," Tony told his father. "You dope!" he replied. "There isn't any 'A' in 'spelling'!"
Early Texas governors were not very well educated. There was once a chief executive who thought "grammar" was his father's mother. On one occasion this governor went hunting and forgot his gun. He phoned his secretary and asked him to send the gun. "The phone connection's bad," said the secretary. "I couldn't catch that last word. Spell it." The governor replied, " 'G' like in Jesus; 'U' like in onion; 'N' like in pneumonia GUN, you damn fool!"
A Hoosier, a Kentuckian and a West Virginian were on a Hollywood TV quiz show. The host asked them to complete the sentence: "Old MacDonald had a ..." The Indianan said, "Old MacDonald had a carburetor." "Sorry," said the MC. "That's incorrect." "Old MacDonald had a flat tire," said the Kentuckian. "Wrong," said the host. "Old MacDonald had a farm," said the West Virginian. "That's correct!" shouted the MC. "Now for $200,000, spell farm." The West Virginian thought hard and then spelled carefully: "E-I-E-I-O."
Interviewer: How do you spell Mississippi? Redneck: Which one? The river or the state?
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